A Beginning and an End

At the moment I’m sitting here in my living room with my whole life halfway packed in 4-soon-to-be-5 suitcases. In less than two days I will be taking a plane out to British Columbia to start a next phase in my life: university.

Everyone said I’d be sad at this point, reluctant to stray from my home. Though I don’t consider myself a particularly sentimental person, I was prepared for at least a little bit of a longing to stay. However now that the time to go approaches fast as ever that feeling has yet to come.

The fact is I’ve been waiting for years to leave. I feel like the time frame for me to be upset about leaving has come and gone due to the amount of time I’ve been waiting. I’m so old, should have been gone years ago…

But it occurred to me that as much as this is a new beginning for me, it’s an ending for my family. The end of seeing me every day, the end of our bonding time, the end of my regular stories, the end of my parents’ marriage…
And I feel bad for them. How silly of me to think that their happiness in life hinges on my presence, but it really does change things.

Of course there are things I’ll miss. I mean, I’m so so close to my parents. Though he annoys me a lot, my dad is one of my best friends. And my mom is the one person in the world I trust with absolutely anything. As for my brother, we’ve never really been terribly close but it’s always nice to know he’s around–makes me feel a bit less alone. There are my friends too–I just had my final goodbye with my two childhood best friends. And a little part of me might miss that one boy.

But I’m moving on. And there’s nothing I’m more excited for than this.

I just hope my family will be okay without me.

– K

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